The end of a relationship is always painful. What now?, You wonder.
You do not want to watch movies because there are too many romantic comedies of “boy meets a girl and lived happily ever after”. I do not want to go out with your married friends and their husbands. All right.
At first it is understandable that behaves like this. But, out of love for yourself, you should not lock yourself in that attitude.
The rupture of a commitment produces much pain because it breaks a common project in which it has invested time, resources, hope and heart.
Today, life is very long and involves many changes: residence, work, mentality … and in many cases, as a couple.
If I try everything and nothing works, if there came a time when life with him and only in tears started and there are no smiles, if you could not stand the coexistence with that frog that will never become your prince, Wait for something better
It’s time to rethink your love life of closing wounds, understanding what has failed and knowing yourself better to become happy alone with a new partner.
A good way to start reviewing your ideas about love. The beliefs they have about what should be the relationship or marriage cause a deep disappointment when they do not correspond to reality, because in Western society is still equating romanticism with dependency.
Life is geared towards couples and families. On the contrary, there are many fears, prejudices and negative beliefs around singleness, especially when it comes to a woman.
Let’s dismount them without fear.
Belief 1. “Love is forever.” The studies assure that the phase of passionate love only lasts between 18 and 30 months. Having been converted into something else, no better or worse, but different.
The routines, the power struggles, the boredom… that can also be overcome to reach a deeper affection. It is a creative error that love can only be “bed and rapture” or “sneakers and remote control.”
Belief 2. “Love overcomes all obstacles”. Beautiful … but that requires a great and continuous effort. Or sea, that the two put of its part. Mature love is a state that we choose and requires work.
If there is no food, it is like a messy house. And by the way, do not believe that “Love is giving at all costs, without waiting to receive”.
False. If that is, sooner or later the resentment of invading and taking from you a fury that you do not know that could live in your interior.
Unconditional love is a precious idea, but hardly applicable to the life of a couple.
Belief 3. “There is only one true love.” If you believe in this, to the pain of the break you will have to add the misfortune that you will never be happier as a couple.
Horror! That many people do not live a second great love may be because they decide not to reopen or trust.
It is not easy to find someone special, so when it happens we can believe that we have found our unique and unrepeatable soul mate.
But beware. If in the first phase of the relationship we feel a deep union and only see the good of our partner, in the second the differences manifest and we fall from the cloud.
Belief 4. “If you love someone, you need to always be with that person”. Of course not. If you are unable to do anything alone is not love, but dependence. Be careful also if he is jealous and possessive.
If your man loves you, he will have a certain protective attitude towards you, but that behavior must always respectful. If he prevents you from going out, dressing up or seeing your male friends, respect shines through your absence.
Such attitudes often lead to maltreatment.
Finding someone special and getting to know each other is a wonderful adventure and a pleasure for the senses.
All your thinking, your energy and your illusion are placed in it. Will you be the man of my life? You wonder.
And you want to do it right. Do not go back to making mistakes that led you to suffer in the past.
Do not repeat more patterns of behavior that you know that lead to breakage. Fantastic!
If you need inspiration, here are the 5 mistakes you should not make at the beginning of a relationship.
Make up a character. We all strive to be as handsome, charming and attentive as possible when we are falling in love with a new couple. It is perfect that before you stay with him you clean your house, put on your best dress and look for fun conversation topics.
But do not make a character that does not exist trying to be perfect. Do not hide your opinions, beliefs, likes, weaknesses. Because if he does not like what you really are, you’d better find out as soon as possible.
Talk about your ex. From a certain age, we all have a past … and at least one former partner who has marked us. But that does not matter to your present love. You know you’ve been with others.
That you have suffered and made suffer. If there is any truly relevant fact, such as that you were married, you must tell her. If not, save the conversations about the ex for your friends. Really, he does not care.
He wants to share your future, not your past. And the life of your old boyfriends is of no interest to you.
Criticize too much. No one likes to be with a person who only sees negativity and bad things in others. Especially when it comes to someone you just met.
Remember that a man who truly appreciates you not only seeks beauty or sex appeal in you, but also those qualities that are not seen with the naked eye: goodness, empathy, sensitivity, intelligence.
If you get to criticize your friends and acquaintances, politicians or your boss, you will quickly think that the next one to go through your terrible filter is him, his way of being, to dress and so on. And that will keep you away.
Tell you all your past. Yes, in order for two people to fall in love they must really know each other, and take away all those social masks that we put at the beginning of a relationship to please the other.
But that is a process that takes time and must flow naturally. Do not tell your partner all your past to the first of change.
You can overwhelm him with too much information and give him the feeling that you are looking for someone to compensate for your painful injuries or to rescue you from a life full of troubles.
Put sex first. Of course your new partner attracts you. What’s more, it excites you a lot. Just thinking about it … revive! Fabulous, but do not make the mistake of using sex as a way to receive affection or to show that you are more uninhibited and released than anyone else.
Remember that it is easier to undress physically than emotionally. But good sex flows when it contains a good dose of love and confidence, in addition to the “spicy.”